The Thousandth Time and The Millionth Night
by Sunday Coma
Summary: Kurmanda. Kurt on a lonely night thinks about his relationship with Amanda since her parents forbid her from seeing him.


Disclaimer: "Love is a word that lasts forever. It's a shame that those you do, don't,". 

Title: "The Thousandth Time and the Millionth Night" 

Purpose: To free up a little writer's block.

Shipper': Kurt/Amanda.

Classification: Sap, mostly mild Kurt angst.

A/G~ I know it's been a while, I promise I'm working on Rookie League but unfortunately, there have been a few obstacles. Mainly, my parents, schoolwork and writer's block. Please take this little spotlight on Kurt as a token of my apologies.

A/N~ Foggy timeline warning. I'm unsure as to the exact episode this follows or even whether it fits in the time frame of X-Men Evolution but I left a class with this story scribbled on a piece of paper and figured it was decent enough to post.

~_~_The Thousandth Time and The Millionth Night_~_~

          by Thanx4reading

 Kurt sat, his two toes curled around the white guardrails of the overhanging porch outside his bedroom at the Xavier's Institute. The paint chipped slightly under the pressure and he knew within a few more hours of sitting on the railing and it would begin to dig into the soles of his feet. His back curved as his naturally sloped posture instinctively took precedence over the straight posture he had had to learn in order to mingle with normal humans. His spaded tail swished, churning the air behind him as he faced out into the night.

The full and luminous moon gleamed off of his distinctively blue bangs that shadowed his gentle amber-yellow eyes. The wind rustled through his fur and sent a chill straight through to the bone.

It was autumn and the smell of cold frolicked in the air, describable only to those who had smelled it's aroma in the air before. The wind picked up the leaves that had already fallen victim to the frosty nights and swirled the leaves in a whirling vortex before motherly depositing them on the ground.

The clear azure sky had deepened into the deep sapphire blue of the twilight. The radiant star clutters illuminated the neighboring sky into an intense purple.

He sighed. 

He knew somewhere in the congregation of lights indicating the rest of Bayville, Amanda was looking up at the same sky from her bedroom window. 

The thought lacked the cliché consolation that it was intended to bear. 

He did not want her watching it from somewhere else. He wanted her _here_, to watch it with him. He wanted her _here_ with him. For him to wrap his arms around her waist. For him to gently squeeze her hand and wonder at her comfort with his lack of five fingers. For him to look into her eyes and be surprised at her ability to look back unabated into his unnatural ones. 

If he strained his ears, he could hear her trickling voice, filled with awe at the display, whispering in his ear.

He even knew exactly what she would say.

_"This night is only made more perfect because I'm here with you,"._

His heart beat a rhythm of longing as the still green leaves of a nearby tree awoke, the light breeze disturbing the crickets, effectively laying waste to the previously suspended silence and, as if on cue, the lightening bugs alighting their own glows, flew through the air, searching for mates and making the night alive with the movement of  mobile light.

His eyes seemed to peer up at the silver orb with heavy weights to his stare. His very arms burned with the need to hold her and his nose crinkled, the air somehow stained by the absence of Amanda's fragrant perfume.

It was with the strictest of restraint that Kurt did not teleport right into her bedroom and take back the beautiful night that their parents had forbidden Amanda from ever partaking of with Kurt ever again.

His eyes jumped in intensity as the waters of his perturbed mind parted to allow a memory to pass before Kurt's eyes.

Amanda had stood there and the words that had fallen her lips had seemed to plummet right on the ground, as if the Earth's gravity were protecting Kurt's ears. He had not been sure he had heard her, at first. He had been too nervous with the way his body was so aware of her proximity. He had been trying to convince himself out of kissing her, knowing that she had had something important to say. 

He regretted now that he had not just succumbed to his urges. At least he would have not had to hear those words spelling out how the rest of their encounters would be from that night on. 

Rushed. Guilt-ridden. Apprehensive.

She had vowed to disregard her parent's commands. That she would continue to see him. And she remained true to her word. 

...But it was not the same. Not the same tender joking and the jubilant rides in the back of Scott's car through the drive-in of the Gut Bomb.

No, now their time together was limited by how many witnesses there were and when a free moment could be spared.

He closed his eyes against the tears that threatened to drown his eyes and pour his frustration. He had lost many things during the years, gained things, and regained some that he had thought lost. 

Flashes of his adoptive parents, of his first day at the Institute, his friends, and now, his sister, Rogue, raced through his mind's eye. 

But nothing would compare to the pain if he were to lose Amanda to his mutation. 

He cursed his luck silently for the thousandth time that night. The millionth night that he had sat on the porch and wondered about where she was. 

What she was doing. Who she was with. If she thought the same about him.

A small clang of agony rang through his ribs as his heart throbbed painfully. 

If she did not, who she was with that would make her forget. What she was doing that would make her forget. 

He reopened his eyes and the yellow seemed to quiver under the weight of  his unrelenting tears.

His Adam's apple bounced in his throat painfully as he swallowed down the urge to sob at the unfair ignorance separating them and this lovely sight to be beheld by two.

For the thousandth time that day, he held himself back from the brink of tears that he should be losing her to something beyond his control, beyond his abilities. For the millionth day that he had seen her in school the same morning, and found his throat constricted and breathing a difficult task.

For the thousandth time that day, he wished that something had gone differently. That the night he had been scheduled to meet Amanda's parents had been the day before or the day after. For the millionth day he had seen Todd and felt his anger boil underneath his skin and found his hands balled into fists unintentionally.

For the thousandth time that day, he wondered on whom to place the blame. He was not angry with Todd but he was resentful that the mutant had chosen that night, of all nights. He certainly did not dare to blame Amanda or her parents. What were either of them but unsuspecting bystanders. The only remaining option was himself. 

For the thousandth time, he blinked his eyes against threatening swells, knowing that he could have fought back a little harder. A little quicker with less damage to Amanda's furniture. 

For the thousandth time, he found fighting his tears futile as they were already flowing.

For the thousandth time, he kissed the night air in sorrowful replacement for Amanda and for the millionth night, he turned his back on the porch and curled under the quilted sheets of his bed, his pillows soggy from the million nights before. 

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A/N~ Like it, don't like it? Lemme know by clicking the little button in the corner. Scroll to where it says "Leave Review and receive Thanx4reading's undying gratitude for the rest of eternity" ...Okay, so maybe that's not what it says verbatim...


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